Two steps forward, one step back.

There is a mountain of thoughts pushed to one side of my mind that are in desperate need of sifting through.
The problem is I'm far too scared to do it.
I have been incredibly up and down recently and I'm doing everything I can to avoid the downs!
Usually when I write my blog I feel as though I have off loaded and my confidence is boosted, however at the moment I don't feel the confidence at all.
It is much easier to talk about what is happening on the outside than it is to talk about what is happening on the inside.
I just feel as though my strength has gone and I'm just rubbish at coping at the moment.
I am quite happy to just ignore everything but I know it will boil over soon enough. I am starting cognitive behavioural therapy in two weeks so that should hopefully help.

Pain wise, I've not been doing all that brilliantly either lately. However it hasn't been effecting how I walk so it's good knowing the physic has worked. I have been using hot water bottles to help soothe the pain.
I won't ever be able to explain how thankful I am for my fiancé and family's support.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming!!!

XX

A weight on my shoulders.

Blogging shouldn't be a chore but it really feels like it at the moment. I have had a really tough few weeks and although things are starting to look up now, I'm struggling to find the motivation to talk about it. I just need to keep positive. 

Turns out coming off my medication wasn't such a good idea so after going through what felt like hell and back, I am back on but only half the dose I was on before (Lyrica pregabalin 150mg). 

I am still here and I am doing good, I just can't bring myself to write about it at the moment. I will be back soon I promise :)

XX