OH MY GOD HELP ME I'M IN AGONY I FEEL LIKE I'M DYING AHHHHHHHHH!!
Sorry, I just had to. Today has been a bit rubbish, I had physio this morning and it looks like I may have gone backwards a little since my last appointment and my new therapist isn't as good as the old one. The weather has had worse mood swings than I have and to top it all off I ruined tea :(
BUT... I have bought malteasers and popcorn ready for a pyjama day of films with my man tomorrow so all will be well. Also tomorrow will be the last day I will ever take pregabalin ever ever ever woooo! Then I have to wait two weeks until I next see my GP when we can discuss what to try next, I think I want to try amatryptaline as I've heard mostly good things about it but I'm still researching what I can so hopefully I don't end up on something as bad as lyrica. I can already tell the horrible side effects I did have calming down, my appetite is no where near as bad as it was and I feel far more alert and less foggy. However the withdrawal symptoms of weening off have been pretty annoying, my skin has been awfully itchy and I've been a million times more dramatic than usual (comedy inspired by my dad there!).
Yesterday was my first bike ride in a week and a half and I managed twice as far as usual so at least that's progress!!! I have been thinking about setting up some kind of fund raising for research into fibromyalgia but I have really been struggling on ideas for fund raising seen as theres no way I'll be throwing myself off the top of anything or running a marathon something like that. I was thinking maybe to try and build up my strength in cycling so I could do some kind of sponsored bike ride. Any other suggestions are most welcome as long as they are fibro friendly :D
XX
Tuesday 22 October 2013
Monday 14 October 2013
Two steps forward, one step back.
Ok, I get it. Loud and clear. I cannot push myself as hard as I have done.
My immune system crashed and I got a bug, I spent a week fighting it and then a week recovering. I will still fight hard to get myself back on track but I have learnt my lesson too many times not to push myself over the edge. Rest does not make me weak, it just helps make me stronger. I feel like I've taken a load of punches recently, the slightest things seem to be bothering me more than they usually would. I have been spending all my time doing completely nothing and I really don't think it's good for me. I just want to hide until everything goes away.
Last week I made the decision to come off my medication (Pregabalin, Lyrica) because I HATE it and want to try something else. I have been on it since June, I got up to 300mg a day but it wasn't doing barely anything for my pain and I was suffering from pretty much all the side effects! I have gained 10kg, my hair was falling out like crazy, I sleep like all time time! And don't even get me started on what it does to 'fibro fog', sometimes I really have to think about whether I'm awake or dreaming!! I am sick of not feeling human anymore. Time has been slipping away from me recently and I blame Pregabalin for that. I am only half way through coming off and I haven't noticed much difference so far. I do feel more alert and my sleep is a lot more disturbed, I have also had a big problem with my skin hurting, this isn't a usual for me but it's just so sore to touch and feels bruised all the time but other than that there has been no change.
The other week when I had a bug was the first time I have been ill since I had norrovirus in January which is really what set my fibro off big time. Bugs are definitely a lot meaner on fibros! Every joint in my body ached when I got up in the morning and every muscle felt pulled by the time I was dragging myself to bed. To be honest I should be less shocked that it took me a week to recover. I feel like I experienced what it's like to be 80, I'm telling you, at 19, I am not ready for that! All hail flu jabs for pensioners!!
I will end here before I smash the laptop for hurting my legs. I promise you all I'll stop pushing too hard.
Big sighs and big smiles.
XX
My immune system crashed and I got a bug, I spent a week fighting it and then a week recovering. I will still fight hard to get myself back on track but I have learnt my lesson too many times not to push myself over the edge. Rest does not make me weak, it just helps make me stronger. I feel like I've taken a load of punches recently, the slightest things seem to be bothering me more than they usually would. I have been spending all my time doing completely nothing and I really don't think it's good for me. I just want to hide until everything goes away.
Last week I made the decision to come off my medication (Pregabalin, Lyrica) because I HATE it and want to try something else. I have been on it since June, I got up to 300mg a day but it wasn't doing barely anything for my pain and I was suffering from pretty much all the side effects! I have gained 10kg, my hair was falling out like crazy, I sleep like all time time! And don't even get me started on what it does to 'fibro fog', sometimes I really have to think about whether I'm awake or dreaming!! I am sick of not feeling human anymore. Time has been slipping away from me recently and I blame Pregabalin for that. I am only half way through coming off and I haven't noticed much difference so far. I do feel more alert and my sleep is a lot more disturbed, I have also had a big problem with my skin hurting, this isn't a usual for me but it's just so sore to touch and feels bruised all the time but other than that there has been no change.
The other week when I had a bug was the first time I have been ill since I had norrovirus in January which is really what set my fibro off big time. Bugs are definitely a lot meaner on fibros! Every joint in my body ached when I got up in the morning and every muscle felt pulled by the time I was dragging myself to bed. To be honest I should be less shocked that it took me a week to recover. I feel like I experienced what it's like to be 80, I'm telling you, at 19, I am not ready for that! All hail flu jabs for pensioners!!
I will end here before I smash the laptop for hurting my legs. I promise you all I'll stop pushing too hard.
Big sighs and big smiles.
XX
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