Ok, I get it. Loud and clear. I cannot push myself as hard as I have done.
My immune system crashed and I got a bug, I spent a week fighting it and then a week recovering. I will still fight hard to get myself back on track but I have learnt my lesson too many times not to push myself over the edge. Rest does not make me weak, it just helps make me stronger. I feel like I've taken a load of punches recently, the slightest things seem to be bothering me more than they usually would. I have been spending all my time doing completely nothing and I really don't think it's good for me. I just want to hide until everything goes away.
Last week I made the decision to come off my medication (Pregabalin, Lyrica) because I HATE it and want to try something else. I have been on it since June, I got up to 300mg a day but it wasn't doing barely anything for my pain and I was suffering from pretty much all the side effects! I have gained 10kg, my hair was falling out like crazy, I sleep like all time time! And don't even get me started on what it does to 'fibro fog', sometimes I really have to think about whether I'm awake or dreaming!! I am sick of not feeling human anymore. Time has been slipping away from me recently and I blame Pregabalin for that. I am only half way through coming off and I haven't noticed much difference so far. I do feel more alert and my sleep is a lot more disturbed, I have also had a big problem with my skin hurting, this isn't a usual for me but it's just so sore to touch and feels bruised all the time but other than that there has been no change.
The other week when I had a bug was the first time I have been ill since I had norrovirus in January which is really what set my fibro off big time. Bugs are definitely a lot meaner on fibros! Every joint in my body ached when I got up in the morning and every muscle felt pulled by the time I was dragging myself to bed. To be honest I should be less shocked that it took me a week to recover. I feel like I experienced what it's like to be 80, I'm telling you, at 19, I am not ready for that! All hail flu jabs for pensioners!!
I will end here before I smash the laptop for hurting my legs. I promise you all I'll stop pushing too hard.
Big sighs and big smiles.
XX
I am full of admiration for your strength and courage Joey! Keep those big smiles coming! :)
ReplyDeleteDiane xxx
I had a cold this last month too, so I feel your pain! I was really surprised at how long it took me to get back to "normal".
ReplyDeleteThe other biggest knock I took was when I stopped my Cymbalta cold turkey. It was the dumbest move I've ever made -- but at the same time, the Cymbalta was really messing me up, so maybe not? Coming off meds can be really, really hard. Sending out some love!
I had a terrible time with Lyrica. I did much better on Gabapentin (Lyrica's older cousin). While I've been able to get off many of my meds this is one I still stay on with really no side effects. It might be worth considering that switch.
ReplyDeleteThat said, your quote: "Rest does not make me weak, it just helps make me stronger." is absolutely inspiring. So true. We need to all remember it.
Just wanted to let you know I'm featuring you/ this post in the Sunday Inspiration post on my blog - http://www.countingmyspoons.com
ReplyDeleteOh how I can relate to this post and I empathise with you. I too pushed myself too far and I have been laid up since last Wednesday with a bug. You are right, it definitely hits us folks with fibro so much harder! It's interesting to read how you feel about pregabalin. I'm having the same kind of feelings with Amitriptyline & pregabalin was my doctors next step. Might have to look into that one further.
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